Saying No

It took me a long time to actually stand up for myself. I was constantly given false hopes and promises which I kept on buying. I was patiently waiting for someone else to do something for me, to make me comfortable, happy, and guess that’s where the problem lied.

I had hopes from someone who was too involved with himself. It took me 20 long years to even realize I was being manipulated. And, guess what, when I could finally stand up for myself, it was not taken well.

When I caught all the misdeeds, there were false apologies, just tricks to make me stay. It took a lot of courage and hurt to stand up for myself, there were risks but I decided to prioritize myself for once. I deserved better and while some days they tried to bring me down and even succeeded, most of the days were free of hurt. I could finally smile, feel light and myself.

During this entire journey, there is one thing that I have realized that we often don’t even realize that we are in a toxic relationship. We don’t realize that we deserve much more than tit-bits of care. Every human being deserves respect and love. Girls are often taught to make compromises and keep their happiness at bay, not ask for much and without even realizing we are constantly living an unhappy life.

I am glad that I took the step to distance myself from the toxic people around. While people would judge and I would have bouts of loneliness, but I am going to stay focused. It will be a difficult path but I will continue with courage. I deserve better. I deserve to be respected and loved genuinely.